Greetings! The weather here in Vienna has been off and on. The Viennese say that this is the "typical weather" for the spring - unpredictable.
Speaking of unpredictable, I must say that if you had told me five years ago that I would meet the woman of my dreams and have the most beautiful son I would have chuckled and changed the topic; but this is now the reality, and I must say that I am loving every moment of it.
Cay and I were talking after I got home from work today about our life as it stands. We have both realized that we are the happiest that we have ever been. For myself, I cannot recall any moment in my history that I have been this happy.
We also realized that becoming parents is a huge change from not being parents (to put it simply). Let me explain. It was one thing to get married - to go from dating and engagement into married life. Yes, it was challenging, and yes, there were times we wanted to tape each other's mouths shut. But to go from not having a child to having a child is another earth-shattering thing altogether.
For Cay, it is noticeably different in every way. First of all you have this beautiful tiny human that needs the mother in every way possible - from comfort to food. Cay can't simply take a break from Elijah (well, at times she can; thanks mama and papa!); he is fully dependent on her for everything. Cay needs to feed him and comfort him. Don't get me wrong and don't underestimate my role; I do try my hardest to help in this department. But there is a bond (emotionally, physically, and perhaps, spiritually) between the mother and the child that cannot be substituted. I even notice as I try to hold him while he is crying and Cay takes him from my arms... it's like he is instantly soothed. Elijah knows who his mother is.
I asked Cay if she felt this difference and responded with a strong yes. She said that it just feels different now that he is in the world. She said she feels more protective now; and not just over Elijah, but over me as well. I believe that she has truly become a mother. She now knows what it means to sacrifice not just her time, but her body as well for another person. This is extremely profound.
For myself, I feel as if the world has changed as well. I have felt myself being more protective as well. When Elijah was born last week, the midwives were saying he was a bit small. I must say that I have never prayed for a woman to produce more breast milk! I'm interested now about things from health insurance to school-systems.
A while back I put up a blog post about the fears of becoming a father.
I think now my mindset has changed. The fear that I had has been replaced with a firm resolution to be the best man that I can be; for not just Cay and Elijah, but because that is what the One who has made me has designed me to be. Like a soldier defending his country, this is something I am both compelled and bound to.
The world is different now with the birth of our son, Elijah Rene Granado.
In our talk, we both concluded that our life is "different". And it is different in an amazing and beautiful way. We both agree that we cannot imagine our life before he was born, and it's like we, through our marriage, are finally becoming the people that we were intended to be: mother and father. We can now say, although with a short time of experience, that parenthood has been the most rewarding, beautiful, challenging, awesome and transformative experience that we have both gone through.
Blessings to you all,
Vince, Cay and Baby Elijah
I really enjoyed reading this. Thanks for sharing :) Fran
ReplyDeleteThis was beautifully said. I can't agree more with what you shared. I know how Cay feels (along with the other mother's) and the strong bond she has with your son. I wasn't able to nurse my son for more than 5 weeks. Then came our daughter! God had plans for us! =) they are only 11 months apart, and we cannot be happier! I am still able to nurse her and I notice the bond I am able to share with her. I am so happy for the three of you. Vince, you are a very loving and caring friend. You were a wonderful friend to me during our college days and I cannot thank-you enough for being that "Kuya" figure to me. I thank-you from the bottom of my heart. Cay and Elijah are very well loved and protected by your love and fatherhood. Blessings to you all! ~Princess
ReplyDeleteFrancesca: Thank you and bless you my friend :-)
ReplyDeletePrincess: Thank you, and you have always been a good friend to me as well. I remember those good ole days in college, and all the memories :-) Keep us in your prayers as you and your family are in ours.
ReplyDeleteCongrats to you both again! Looking forward to catching up soon! Know that we share your profound joy!
ReplyDeleteMark & Niki